I had been sad before, of course, but usually in relation to specific events: my parents’ deaths, JFK getting shot, my divorce. What most interested me about this feeling was that it was a new experience of life. Beneath the anger, I discovered, lay tremendous sadness. I was instead walking about for days on end feeling deeply, deeply sad. I first went back into my childhood and released tremendous anger at how I had been treated by my mother.Īfter working through these feelings in the first few sessions, however, I noticed something strange. I first encountered my sadness when I engaged, over a month-long period, in a 10-session course of feeling release therapy with a trained counselor. After this discovery, however, I realized that I was far more interested in feeling the deep sadness which is an integral part of life. I had until then said my goal in life was to be “happy”. Upon exploring my psychological issues rather late in life I discovered something entirely unforeseen: that while I had been unconsciously avoiding feeling “sad” my entire life this emotion was not only satisfying but a key to who I really am. Depression, Existential Issues, Life Affirming Death Awareness, Self Development
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